Self-service Gifts

DIY helpdesk.

Complaints department

Courteous Self-Service.

"How much do you think I should I tip myself?"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Work/Life Balance

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

Bad fake tan day.

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Bad hair day!

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Relationship Warning Lights

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Try thinking about something else."

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."