Self Healing Gifts

Herbal/Hisbal Remedies.

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Self help acupuncture

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Work/Life Balance

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

Spa

Bad fake tan day.

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Bad hair day!

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

Relationship Warning Lights

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Try thinking about something else."

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.