Soul Healing Gifts

Guru Greg's Soul Repair

Self help acupuncture

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Sigmund Freud.

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Unguided imagery

Yoga classes door.

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"I don't leave home without it!"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

"When you're ready, I'm going to stand on my hind legs, and lick it better."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

"Ouch. . . Aaaargh!!. . . Stop it!. . . "

Little Richard

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Broken Heart

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Here, try this."

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

Traumatology.

A woman repairs a broken heart.

'Got anything for a headache?'

Thank you Doctor

"I've been feeling more transparent."

Brain and heart sweep away the negative