Soul Soother Gifts

Books: Chicken Soup for the Soul / Cheeseburger and fries for the Soul.

The last person to leave, please turn off the enlightenment.

"You're not as serene as you could be, Fred."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"I don't leave home without it!"

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

Music Therapy

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

The Sensitive Dude.

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

'My work-lifestyle balance is shot, I'm either working or I'm dead!'

"Ouch. . . Aaaargh!!. . . Stop it!. . . "

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"Physically I'm in New York, Emotionally. . .I'm somewhere in the south of Florida."

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist pump."

Guru Greg's Soul Repair

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

"Behold! NOW is the accepted time to repent!"

"Oh no, those aren't recharging stations for phones. We have those there so physicians can get themselves recharged!"

'They're not like popsickles, Sir. . . they're just too warm and syrupy.'

A turtle rocks a baby turtle in her shell.

"Did I miss something?"

'It's so beautiful, yet fragile. Safe, yet vulnerable. More precious than any star in the heavens.'

'Be sure to eat every bite — the chef is a very sensitive guy.'

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

'What if we don't change at all ... and something magical just happens?'

'Does my bum look big in this'

"They all remind me of cloud computing. I really need a mental health day."

Skunk to psychologist: 'It doesn't do me any good to stop and smell the roses.'