Health Soother Gifts

"C'mon, Dad...you can't ignore pain. It can be your colon or prostate or diabetes or high blood pressure. We can't afford for you to get sick!"

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

Exercise Bars

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

'My work-lifestyle balance is shot, I'm either working or I'm dead!'

"Holy moly!"

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"You call that complementary!?!"

Cures for the void.

Three cases of therapy-resistant low self-esteem