Sound Soother Gifts

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

At the rock concert...

Musical notes bubble gum.

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

'My work-lifestyle balance is shot, I'm either working or I'm dead!'

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

The Music Lover.

"Oh no, those aren't recharging stations for phones. We have those there so physicians can get themselves recharged!"

“I get that the sounds help you sleep, but I don’t like the way he stares.”

Father nails piano lid shut.

A musical instrument shop is positioned next to a silent treatment shop.

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

"If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?"

'Does my bum look big in this'

"They all remind me of cloud computing. I really need a mental health day."

Skunk to psychologist: 'It doesn't do me any good to stop and smell the roses.'

Ear Bud Hijacking

"When did your shift start?" - "February!"

An advertisement in an apartment window reads 'Drum Kit For Sale' - the sign in the neighbours window reads 'Thank God!'.

'I'm a bird person. If he screams, I put a cover over his cage.'

"You're not as serene as you could be, Fred."

Wow, is that the new lithotripter? No, it's the new Dolby surround sound system, with extra-tech woofers.

"You know that summer's arrived when you can hear four different radio stations from your own lawn."

Books: Chicken Soup for the Soul / Cheeseburger and fries for the Soul.

Music theft.

"We'll be late. We can't leave until we find out what's beeping."

Man Blowing Trumpet into Drum