Sound Protection Gifts

At the rock concert...

'Carol, get your protective headphones on'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

Noise Pollution

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

"The subwoofers really help."

Things that go beep in the night.

Music Therapy

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

A Peek into the 2021 Noise Pollution L'Accord

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

"I'm sorry, but you can not wear noise protection when teaching your music classes.".

'If I was wearing my 'what'?!'

'I think you got the drummer - Now try for the trumpet player!'

Ding and Dong.

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

'Whom should I call first? 911 or the audio technician?'

Father nails piano lid shut.

A musical instrument shop is positioned next to a silent treatment shop.

Sorry, what did you say? This new double glazing will be good for noise reduction!

"Sorry, but until I update the antivirus software, I want to be sure you don't click on any attachments again."

And he thinks I can't hear the TV.

'I know I never play it. I only borrow it from next door to stop him playing the damn thing!'

'I'd love to tell who did it, but I'm protecting my source.'

I've found it! It was in the bread box! You've found the lost cellphone! SMASH! CRASH BOP! SMASH! Today's feature is offered as a catharsis for anyone who has ever lost a cellphone and been forced to listen to its low-battery beep from some undiscovered place. SMASH. Final beep (Death).

"On the other hand, he never takes a sick day."

'The acoustics in here are fantastic!'

An advertisement in an apartment window reads 'Drum Kit For Sale' - the sign in the neighbours window reads 'Thank God!'.

Born to be a Sound Engineer.

"You know that summer's arrived when you can hear four different radio stations from your own lawn."

'I'm a bird person. If he screams, I put a cover over his cage.'

"I'm doing a science experiment for a school project, sir: can you please stand here and quack?"

Laurel Canyon

Music theft.