Appointment Gifts

"We'll need to vent your spleen."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

'I sense we might be having a problem with our appointment scheduling.'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"Do I have many meetings today?"

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Hair Traffic control.

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"That explains all the cavities."

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'Lost Diary'

"Appointments. Disappointments."

"Every time you lick your teeth, you taste your skeleton."

A Kangermoo

"You've got bunions, hammertoes and plantar fasciitis. Bad feet must run in your family." "Nobody runs in my family."

"No, we haven't started yet. My hand was cold."

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

'...Do you have an appointment...?'

"Relax. You might feel a little pinch."

'Tell you what; I'll give you the lollipop and I'll give you the shot.'

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

If I move Jen's ortho to Friday, it conflicts with Sam's clarinet, but I can't move that to Monday because Tina has soccer! Ugh, how do I line this thing up? Rubik's Calendar.

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

'You will be appointed principal of a school and you will resist change for your entire career,'

"Follow up appointment... the doctor will be retired by then."

"I cancelled my last appointment without phoning the Doctor... so I'm making up for it by showing up without phoning!"

Sewing Machines in Surgery

"An appointment is required except for Wednesday afternoons, when he suffers fools gladly."

'The good news is that you'll be able to continue working and pay my bill.'

"By the time we go in, I'll be too old for a pediatrician."