Medical Appointments Gifts

I like having an older doctor. He understands my ailments and has most of em!

'...Do you have an appointment...?'

'Well, well, well...'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"That explains all the cavities."

'Lost Diary'

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

"Appointments. Disappointments."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"You've got bunions, hammertoes and plantar fasciitis. Bad feet must run in your family." "Nobody runs in my family."

"Every time you lick your teeth, you taste your skeleton."

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'Tell you what; I'll give you the lollipop and I'll give you the shot.'

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

Sewing Machines in Surgery