Dental Appointments Gifts

It's payback time at the sadistic dentist's office.

'Well, well, well...'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"That explains all the cavities."

"You've got bunions, hammertoes and plantar fasciitis. Bad feet must run in your family." "Nobody runs in my family."

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

"Every time you lick your teeth, you taste your skeleton."

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

'Tell you what; I'll give you the lollipop and I'll give you the shot.'

'...Do you have an appointment...?'

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

Sewing Machines in Surgery

The Wheel of Life

Taking blood pressure

"And then I said 'Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!' Ha, ha!"

"Is this your first time seeing a specialist?"

"He hates his six-monthly visits."

"Wednesday proctology clinic."

Medical Exam

'The good news is that you'll be able to continue working and pay my bill.'

"By the time we go in, I'll be too old for a pediatrician."

Time-Off Coupons

"Now where was I?"