Dentist Appointment Gifts

"Tell me when it hurts. I'm listening."

"I detect a little laxity in your flossing."

'A tough one, I'm afraid.'

'Don't be silly dear -- there's nothing to be afraid of.'

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

'Well, well, well...'

The tooth fairy.

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

Toothbrush Romance

'What kind of filling would you like?'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist