Dental Appointment Gifts

'This is going to be a level three.'

'Frankly, Mr. Reid, you should've expected to break a tooth on something called rocky road.'

"That explains all the cavities."

"Are you sure you don't want to upgrade your Dental Plan Insurance?"

"Everything Okay?" "No, your teeth are putting on weight!"

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Sorry Billy, but it looks like they're all going to have to come out..."

"You have a dental appointment on the 25th."

'I'm applying for drilling rights in new territory in your lower jaw.'

"And then I said 'Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!' Ha, ha!"

'To save your teeth you must visit me twice a year.'

'-and who's next?'

' How many times a year do you visit the dentist?' 'Twice, one for each tooth.'

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

"I used some of that striped toothpaste you suggested. Now I've got striped teeth."

"Every time you lick your teeth, you taste your skeleton."

'Well, well, well...'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

"You've got bunions, hammertoes and plantar fasciitis. Bad feet must run in your family." "Nobody runs in my family."

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

"No, we haven't started yet. My hand was cold."

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

'Tell you what; I'll give you the lollipop and I'll give you the shot.'

"Relax. You might feel a little pinch."

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."