Dental Visit Gifts

'Does your tooth still hurt?' 'Don't know, the dentist kept it.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

Toothbrush Romance

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

Tooth fairy

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

Car Dentistry.

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

"That explains all the cavities."

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"So you admit to flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies?"

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

"So what brings you in today?"

The Tooth Ferret

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."