Child's Dental Visit Gifts

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

The tooth fairy.

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

Toothbrush Romance

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

'The $75 for floss wasn't for his teeth... we had to tie him to the chair.'

Tooth fairy

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

Car Dentistry.

"That explains all the cavities."

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"So you admit to flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies?"

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'