First Medical Appointment Gifts

'Well, well, well...'

"Is this your first time seeing a specialist?"

"The first one's just a warning."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

Love at First Sight.

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"That explains all the cavities."

'The needle was THIS big!'

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

"You've got bunions, hammertoes and plantar fasciitis. Bad feet must run in your family." "Nobody runs in my family."

'This little piggy went to the doctor's office and went 'ouch, ouch, ouch' all the way home. I just made that up.'

"Every time you lick your teeth, you taste your skeleton."

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"No, we haven't started yet. My hand was cold."

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

"Melanie, this is my husband, Greg, and Greg's jacket from a previous marriage."

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

"Relax. You might feel a little pinch."

'...Do you have an appointment...?'

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

'Tell you what; I'll give you the lollipop and I'll give you the shot.'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

To help emphasize good oral hygeine inkids, Dr. Remford installed a dental floss zipline in his office.