Jesus Follower Gifts

The Good Samaritan.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Monk Prompt

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Drive-thru Church

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"We'll go for a nice space-walk later on."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'How did you EXPECT me to come back?'

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"The buck really stops with him."

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

Decisions a Pope makes

Pope Francis

"...And forgive the congregation member who left their cell phone on and it rang during the sermon!"

"But how many followers do you have?"

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

Testing the water temperature in the font.

Pope John Paul II 1920-2005.