Jesus Follower Gifts

The Good Samaritan.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Drive-thru Church

Monk Prompt

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"We'll go for a nice space-walk later on."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"The buck really stops with him."

'How did you EXPECT me to come back?'

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

"...And forgive the congregation member who left their cell phone on and it rang during the sermon!"

Decisions a Pope makes

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

Pope Francis

Testing the water temperature in the font.

"But how many followers do you have?"

Lost santa and reindeer.

Pope John Paul II 1920-2005.