Christianity Followers Gifts

'Our top story...Son of God returns to earth, but first here's Chad with a look at your weather.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Drive-thru Church

Monk Prompt

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"The buck really stops with him."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

Testing the water temperature in the font.

"But how many followers do you have?"

Pope Francis

'It's just a phase they're going through.'

Decisions a Pope makes

The Good Samaritan.

"...And forgive the congregation member who left their cell phone on and it rang during the sermon!"