Christianity Followers Gifts

'Our top story...Son of God returns to earth, but first here's Chad with a look at your weather.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Drive-thru Church

Monk Prompt

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Spiritual Lives Matter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"The buck really stops with him."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

The Good Samaritan.

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

"But how many followers do you have?"

'It's just a phase they're going through.'

Testing the water temperature in the font.

Pope Francis

"...And forgive the congregation member who left their cell phone on and it rang during the sermon!"

Decisions a Pope makes

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'