Evangelical Followers Gifts

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

Testing the water temperature in the font.

"It was a gift from god."

"And a source said let there be light."

Money or no money, root of all evil?

Good Christians should be willing to die for President Trump."

"Have you ever thought about becoming a duck?"

"Oh, that's the problem - it was unplugged the whole time!"

'My sermon's written except for the lead-ins to the commercials where I remind them they're all going straight to hell!'

"It looks like everything is made out of memory foam these days."

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

"Sure, we know how to have a good time up here"

Football

The Teachings of Jesus: Day 1

"Could we talk Girl Scout cookies?"

Motorcycle Faith Healer

"Just because the preacher is from Alabama doesn't mean he's speaking in tongues."

'Hey! That's new - paternity leave!'