Faith Followers Gifts

"You know what happens you ASSUME?!"

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

A child interrupting family prayers

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Monk Prompt

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Drive-thru Church

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

'Get an afterlife!'

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"The buck really stops with him."

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

Honk if you're holy.

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"Hallelujah!"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'