Fast-faith Follower Gifts

Drive-thru Church

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Monk Prompt

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Birds doing the 'wave'.

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Football supporters.

I am your BIGGEST fan!

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"The buck really stops with him."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Testing the water temperature in the font.

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

Pope Francis

"But how many followers do you have?"

Decisions a Pope makes

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.