Fast-faith Follower Gifts

Drive-thru Church

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Monk Prompt

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

Birds doing the 'wave'.

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Football supporters.

I am your BIGGEST fan!

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

Spiritual Lives Matter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"The buck really stops with him."

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.

Testing the water temperature in the font.

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

Pope Francis

"But how many followers do you have?"

Decisions a Pope makes

Remote-controlled Popemobile.