Evangelists Gifts

"J is the reason for the season."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

Guitars in Heaven

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

Will work for manure.

"It was a gift from god."

"Before I share the meaning of life with Dave, let's take some calls from our viewers around the world."

Good Christians should be willing to die for President Trump."

"Being reborn, eh? What better time to learn about our Lord? He was smooshed for your sins - did you know that?!"

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

"Have you ever thought about becoming a duck?"

Money or no money, root of all evil?

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

'It gives me more energy than five grande espressos.'

'My sermon's written except for the lead-ins to the commercials where I remind them they're all going straight to hell!'

Placed by the Gideons

"Could we talk Girl Scout cookies?"

Motorcycle Faith Healer

"Just because the preacher is from Alabama doesn't mean he's speaking in tongues."

"We're raising money for our church so our preacher can get a new luxury jet...!"

New Seekers, New Danger, "I'd like to teach the world to sing..."

"I don't get it. I've prayed to God to get rich just like the televangelist told me. but nothing happened."

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, I'm here to share a brief Bible message with you about the good news of God's Kingdom."

"I expected the mission field to be a little more modern."

'I've led an exemplary life! - when will you let me in?'