Evangelists Gifts

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."

"It was a gift from god."

Will work for manure.

Money or no money, root of all evil?

"Being reborn, eh? What better time to learn about our Lord? He was smooshed for your sins - did you know that?!"

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

Good Christians should be willing to die for President Trump."

"Have you ever thought about becoming a duck?"

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

'It gives me more energy than five grande espressos.'

'My sermon's written except for the lead-ins to the commercials where I remind them they're all going straight to hell!'

"Could we talk Girl Scout cookies?"

Motorcycle Faith Healer

"Just because the preacher is from Alabama doesn't mean he's speaking in tongues."

"We're raising money for our church so our preacher can get a new luxury jet...!"

New Seekers, New Danger, "I'd like to teach the world to sing..."

The Mormons

"REPENT! REPENT! REPENT!"

"I expected the mission field to be a little more modern."

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, I'm here to share a brief Bible message with you about the good news of God's Kingdom."