Evangelical Gifts

"Just because the preacher is from Alabama doesn't mean he's speaking in tongues."

"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."

Money or no money, root of all evil?

'My sermon's written except for the lead-ins to the commercials where I remind them they're all going straight to hell!'

Priest offers drowning man a copy of the Bible.

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

Cherub on a cloud

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"It was a gift from god."

"Wanna trade guys? My guy annoys me already. I like your guy."

Good Christians should be willing to die for President Trump."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

"This isn't the caring way to treat those who disagree with you, Pastor Bob."

"Have you ever thought about becoming a duck?"

"Actually, he's not all that big, but he's really ripped."

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

Death of the pope.

"Sure, we know how to have a good time up here"

"Could we talk Girl Scout cookies?"

Motorcycle Faith Healer

Heaven - Under New Management.