Evangelical Gifts

"Just because the preacher is from Alabama doesn't mean he's speaking in tongues."

"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."

Money or no money, root of all evil?

'My sermon's written except for the lead-ins to the commercials where I remind them they're all going straight to hell!'

Priest offers drowning man a copy of the Bible.

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

Cherub on a cloud

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"It was a gift from god."

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

"Have you ever thought about becoming a duck?"

"Wanna trade guys? My guy annoys me already. I like your guy."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

Good Christians should be willing to die for President Trump."

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."

"This isn't the caring way to treat those who disagree with you, Pastor Bob."

"Actually, he's not all that big, but he's really ripped."

'Beer, wouldn't be heaven without it.'

'Flying is fine. Harping is fine. Flying while harping is not fine.'

Placed by the Gideons

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

"J is the reason for the season."