Evangelist Gifts

"Could we talk Girl Scout cookies?"

Motorcycle Faith Healer

"It was a gift from god."

We're from the bible belt

Beth Moore

Evangelist with tuba

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

Jehova's Jet Set

'You want to spend eternity together?...I think these past 20 seconds were more than enough.'

Ministers: regular and TV.

Reverend Jerry Falwell.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

'Cult? What makes you think it's a cult?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Who rang that bell?"

"I expected the mission field to be a little more modern."

"Repent, lest the Axe of Judgement fall upon thee!"

"For trick or treating, I'm dressing up as Billy Graham and going witnessing door-to-door."

Missionary control.

'I feel awkward asking you whether you'd consider me for a missionary position.'

"Sorry for knocking on your door - I just wanted to know if you had a few minutes for me to scare you."

Evangelist and dog trainer extraordinaire, Ernie Gumbromowitz.

'Oh no, quick! Turn off the lights... Pretend we're not home!'

'Hello. Have you ever thought about your afterlife? I've got some literature I'd like to share with you.'

Cross section of a bath with bearded preacher whose hat is aflame.

Jehovah's Witness Protection Program

Jerry Falwell - Evangelist.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, I'm here to share a brief Bible message with you about the good news of God's Kingdom."

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

In Which Donald Trump Gets down on His Knees and Prays

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

"Have you ever thought about becoming a duck?"

"A fantastic evangelist was on TV, and I sent him everything."

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."