Christianity Follower Gifts

"Verily I say unto you that the wife is good, but the mother-in-law..."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Drive-thru Church

Monk Prompt

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

Tea Party and the US economy

"The buck really stops with him."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"Today U.S. Defense Industry stocks rose on news Dick Cheney endorsed Donald Trump."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

"But how many followers do you have?"

"...And forgive the congregation member who left their cell phone on and it rang during the sermon!"

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

Pope Francis

The Good Samaritan.

Decisions a Pope makes

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

Testing the water temperature in the font.