Jealous Jokers Pillows

"So...are you still saving up to buy a 1964 Chevy Impala now that Joey has one?"

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

'If I thought for one moment that you were identifying...!'

Photobooth Photobomb

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Fishing Contest

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

Santa School.

Santa entering a pool for a swim

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

The Gardener's Calendar: If your fish pool is covered with ice...make a hole in it.

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

A Pirate at the Opticians.

Watch for Men Being Supid

How to avoid a heart attack.

"I took your advice."

Born Cynical,,,,

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'