Jailhouse Philosopher Gifts

Shakespeare in the clink

'Well, on the bright side, this got me out of jury duty.'

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

'For once in my life I told the truth. For this they gave me twenty years.'

'Is that ALL you can ever talk about - ESCAPING?'

Wow. A corner office at last

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

You Don't Know What It's Like

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

'This place is perfect for me. I was convicted of being a serial time-killer.'

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

At least you have security!

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

'It's for you.'

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

Prison Paintings

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

"Basically, a letter to the editor got out of hand."

...Then they got me on some trumped up morals charge.

Probation Officer

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

"I was being honest with him, he said he was being honest with me, so now we don't know who to trust."

"I've got him! I've got him!...Now what?"