Prison Philosopher Gifts

"As it happened, my work as an accountant transcended the genre."

'My five-year plan is pretty solid, but it gets a little fuzzy after that.'

Two prisoners talking. 'Laws are a lot like women. You can't please 'em all the time.'

Hope through the prison bars.

"Wait a minute. Which one of us is in jail and which one is visiting?"

"Wow—the house I was using as a hideout has tripled in value since I was arrested."

"Help, I'm a prisoner!"

'Will you (swearing) shut the (swearing) up? -- I'm trying to work on my children's book!'

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

'My horoscope says I should get out more often.'

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

...Then they got me on some trumped up morals charge.

Probation Officer

'Cards? Sure -- I've got some time to kill.'

'Sure, NOW they tell us!'

'Fortunately, I learn from my mistakes. Unfortunately, I've been sentenced to life with no parole.'

'This is nice - one doesn't get much opportunity to meet people in these open prisons...'

Prison.

'Thanks for coming, you're the best parents ever.'

Two Prisoners Talking

"I'm finding it difficult to keep alive the little embezzler within."

Emergency Phone.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Shakespeare in the clink

Wow. A corner office at last

"What do you mean you wouldn't sweat the water in the basement."

Prisoner speech

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

You Don't Know What It's Like

Let me warn you, toots. Celebrity is like radioactivity: you start with a big bang, then comes years with a half-life of slow decay.

'Ever stop to consider we live in a gated community?'

Freedom

Library of War and Peace