Prison Intellectual Gifts

"We get this place renamed the 'men-only prison,' and women will be demanding admission."

Shakespeare in the clink

Prisoner still life painting.

Madoff and devil.

Police Lineup Escape

Prisoner Crossing

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

Exhibition for Prisoners

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

"Just junk mail."

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

"This song is dedicated to all of you who have been having a hard time deciding between the big bang and steady state theories."

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I'm done doing inside jobs on the outside. I make more on the inside as an outsider artist.'

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

'Try to think of it as early parole.'

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

'He didn't wash his hands.'

'It says here you were finance manager for your fellow inmates on cell block 3. This does raise other concerns.'

Two prisoners pull a Christmas cracker, the free gift is a hacksaw.

'No, I didn't see which way he went.'

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

When Intellectuals Dumb Down

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

Full moon brings out werewolf in prison cell

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

"What do you mean if you testify?!"

...Then they got me on some trumped up morals charge.

Probation Officer