Prison Pondering Gifts

'Have I failed so as a mother, Robert?'

Crowded Ice Fishing

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Extreme Sisyphus

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Shakespeare in the clink

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'Let's get a kitty.'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

'Yes sir, Thoreau had the right idea.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'How come there aren't any peace heroes?'

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

A confinement of convicts

"I dreamed Lucian Freud was coming to paint us."

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

' Isn't it great the way the eyes follow you around the room?'

'Don't fight it, Fred - Just go with the flow.'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

You gonna eat your pickle?

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

I Do Not have OCD

"With Mindfulness, one may learn to sit through all distractions."

'Are you the dove of peace?' 'Yes. What the hell d'you want?'

'Credit crunch? Wassat then?'

"Stay! Do not chase us! Staaay! Staaay!"

"My mind is especially empty today."