Prison Life Philosopher Gifts

Turns out I could run, but I couldn't hide

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Shakespeare in the clink

Wow. A corner office at last

Exhibition for Prisoners

Tom's last day.

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

The Joy of Six/The Joy of None

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

You Don't Know What It's Like

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

Convict Decor

It's more about the journey for me!

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'If these are the best years, can you imagine the crap that's coming?'

Biff Sherwin: Started with a clean slate but finished with this one.

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

"Wanna join my hangouts circle?"

'I was a computer executive -- but I performed an illegal operation and was shut down.'

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

'Credit crunch? Wassat then?'

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

"If you include my first marriage I'm a three time loser."

'21 Today - he wants the key of the door...'

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

'It's for you.'

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.