Prison Life Philosopher Gifts

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Shakespeare in the clink

Wow. A corner office at last

Exhibition for Prisoners

Tom's last day.

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'If these are the best years, can you imagine the crap that's coming?'

'I was a computer executive -- but I performed an illegal operation and was shut down.'

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

Convict Decor

'Credit crunch? Wassat then?'

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

Biff Sherwin: Started with a clean slate but finished with this one.

'It's for you.'

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

"If you include my first marriage I'm a three time loser."

'21 Today - he wants the key of the door...'

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.