The Intellectual Gifts

Book Tailor

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

Paul Ree

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Have you been working out?"

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"So, what are you reading?"

Philosopher trading cards.

Assertiveness

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

'"Einstein, Szilard, Teller, Oppenheimer...but you look through the Old Testament and through the Talmud, and there's not a word about physics."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

Shakespeare Ave

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"The problem is you say Nietzsche and expect everything to be just peachy."

Lost and Profound.

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"You're terrific, Katia. You think like 'The New York Review of Books' and look like 'Vogue.'"

'...Would you like me to try out my Big Bang theory?'

''Et cetera' implies that you know much more than you really do. . .'

"He'll read some Marx and some Freud, and he'll buy some stock. Then he'll read some Plato and some Tolstoy, and he'll sell some stock."

"Is it just me, or do these sculptural forms of light and shadow make you think about the ephemeral nature of life, the spirituality of the moment eclipsing our futile quest for cheese?"

"Care for an oxymoron?"