Party Intellectual Gifts

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

Balancing two espresso martinis

"I am so attracted to you right now."

Miss America IQ Pageant

Paul Ree

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

The devil you know and his plus one

Shaken not stirred

Beers

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Arthur Schopenhauer

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"Whine and cheezed party."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

Philosopher trading cards.

Assertiveness

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"Why can't you ever relax at parties?"

Whale Piñata.

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'