Intellectuals Gifts

Arthur Schopenhauer

Mensa Travel: 'To qualify, you must answer me these questions three...'

"In this corner, a man who describes everything as 'Orwellian.' And in this corner, a guy who loves saying 'Kafka-esque!'"

Hospitalized intellectuals are ill-literates.

"Tighten our belts? Why can't you sell your soul to some nasty American corporation?"

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

Paul Ree

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Miss America IQ Pageant

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

Football team discussions.

Assertiveness

"Caption contest"

'"Einstein, Szilard, Teller, Oppenheimer...but you look through the Old Testament and through the Talmud, and there's not a word about physics."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"The problem is you say Nietzsche and expect everything to be just peachy."

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

Lost and Profound.

Jacques Lacan

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

How does it feel to always be the smartest guy in the room, Dr. Kapuchnik? Usually, it feels pretty good. In this particular case, it feels like I'm cheating.

George Santayana

''Et cetera' implies that you know much more than you really do. . .'

Toni Morrison

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

"He'll read some Marx and some Freud, and he'll buy some stock. Then he'll read some Plato and some Tolstoy, and he'll sell some stock."

"Is it just me, or do these sculptural forms of light and shadow make you think about the ephemeral nature of life, the spirituality of the moment eclipsing our futile quest for cheese?"

'Thoreau had his Walden Pond, C.J. has his water cooler.'

"You're terrific, Katia. You think like 'The New York Review of Books' and look like 'Vogue.'"