Jail Humor Buff Gifts

'What are you in for?'

'Let's get a kitty.'

Prisoner Crossing

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

When staffing agencies screw up.

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

Convict Decor

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

At least you have security!

'I was told to reach for the stars but when I did, I was arrested for stalking.'

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

Martha bakes with her new friends.

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'