Jail Humor Gifts

Summer Arrives At Devil's Island

"Don't think outside the box. Think outside of the cell!"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'It's for you.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

At least you have security!

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

"I've got him! I've got him!...Now what?"

'Never take the stand in your own defense. The judge can reach you with the gavel.'

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

"I've sent last minute treatments to all the major studios."