It Techie Gifts

Computer basics for non-geeks: Mouse Pad.

Polly txt speak

The Googler

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

Ascent of Machine.

Wifi in Hell

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

"Invest in technology."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

Gadget geek.

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

All the apps hidden within a phone

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Hiya, Beautiful! What's your access code?"

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

I've always been slower than computers...

I demand to be recompensed for the 28.47 minutes of my time your café was wasted. What? There are 1500 square feet of seating space in this café. That is room enough for 125 people. 90 percent of Americans own a personal electronic device of some sort. The quotient of that ratio of people to electronic devices is 112.5. Dividing by two produces a quotient of 56.25. So you see, it's obvious why you owe me compensation for my wasted time. I have no idea what you're saying. You only have 55 electri

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

'After his web site got going we bought this 5000 sq. ft. home, but he never leaves his computer.'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

Jim unwittingly wanders into a rough section of the Computer Science department.

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"