It Technician Gifts

'Did you try unplugging it and plugging it back in?'

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'Tech support says your anti-virus software did not catch the problem since it is not a virus. It's a bacterium.'

"Call the staffing agency and cancel. I made this guy with a 3-D Printer."

'Computer Error'

'We need someone in here, like now.'

'He expects so much from me but his data is flawed.'

Computer virus

'Hang on. Let me check my... why yes! There IS a penguin on my computer! What does that mean?' 'Your computer froze.'

'This is terrible Hackers can get through my firewall and customers can't get through my CAPCHA's,'

'For the 80th time, you cannot get rid of viruses by pouring bleach down the back of your computer!'

Human Error and Computer Error.

'OK, first of all, have you tried slamming the keyboard down, whacking the top of the monitor and shouting WORK! DAMN YOU! WORK!'

"Try switching if off and on at the same time."

Psychiatrist taps patient on head and says: 'Have you tried turning it off and turning it on again.'

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

'Your IT guy knows his stuff, but he's terrible at teaching it to other people.'

'Your computer was protected against viral but not bacterial infections.'

'Data, data everywhere!'

'We conscientiously backed up everything, except the tech who knows how to restore the backup.'

'For the 80th time, you cannot get rid of viruses by pouring bleach down the back of your computer!'

'Before the system upgrade we were going nowhere. Now we're going nowhere fast.'

Time for a coffee break... I mean, the computer's down.

'One thing I learned about computers is never to let computers know you're in a hurry.'

'It just doesn't get any beta than this.'

'I hear he's a software pirate.'

'The way the virus works is it doesn't affect the computer itself, but it makes the user ignorant of how to use a computer.'

'This new model cuts your work by half. It goes down half the time and stops you working.'

'I said use your toolbar, NOT your crowbar.'

"Have you tried turning yourself off, then turning yourself on again?"

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"Information highway patrol sir. Can I see your computer driving licence?"

'A picture is usually worth a 1000 words, but on your mobile site it's worth 800 words.'

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'