It Tech Gifts

"After I introduce you to solids, I'm going to need your help with some computer stuff."

'Other than the hatchet I don't know what could be wrong with it.'

'Tell me about your attachments.'

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

"Well, enough of the coy sexual byplay Bobby. I've got to dive back into the data stream."

'We tried to get rid of 'superbugs'...but they're the only ones who can understand the new IT system!'

The Boundless Blue Screen of Death

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

'Are we online or not?'

"He was a computer programmer who liked to google news... shop on line... play computer games... entertain via face book... do his banking on the internet and asked to be shut down here on Reboot Hill."

"I've estimated that I've given you over $100,000 in tech-support over the years. Since you're my dad, I'll give you a discount. I'll take a skateboard."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Welcome to the future"

The Anti-Agent

"My email is down... talk to me."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Lynching on social media

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

In the Guru District

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "