It Technician Prints

'Did you try unplugging it and plugging it back in?'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

'Tech support says your anti-virus software did not catch the problem since it is not a virus. It's a bacterium.'

"Call the staffing agency and cancel. I made this guy with a 3-D Printer."

'Computer Error'

'He expects so much from me but his data is flawed.'

'We need someone in here, like now.'

Human Error and Computer Error.

'Hang on. Let me check my... why yes! There IS a penguin on my computer! What does that mean?' 'Your computer froze.'

'For the 80th time, you cannot get rid of viruses by pouring bleach down the back of your computer!'

'This is terrible Hackers can get through my firewall and customers can't get through my CAPCHA's,'

Computer virus

'OK, first of all, have you tried slamming the keyboard down, whacking the top of the monitor and shouting WORK! DAMN YOU! WORK!'

"Try switching if off and on at the same time."

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

Psychiatrist taps patient on head and says: 'Have you tried turning it off and turning it on again.'

'Data, data everywhere!'

'Your computer was protected against viral but not bacterial infections.'

'Your IT guy knows his stuff, but he's terrible at teaching it to other people.'

'We conscientiously backed up everything, except the tech who knows how to restore the backup.'

'For the 80th time, you cannot get rid of viruses by pouring bleach down the back of your computer!'

'It just doesn't get any beta than this.'

Time for a coffee break... I mean, the computer's down.

'This new model cuts your work by half. It goes down half the time and stops you working.'

'One thing I learned about computers is never to let computers know you're in a hurry.'

'Before the system upgrade we were going nowhere. Now we're going nowhere fast.'

'I hear he's a software pirate.'

'The way the virus works is it doesn't affect the computer itself, but it makes the user ignorant of how to use a computer.'

"Have you tried turning yourself off, then turning yourself on again?"

"Information highway patrol sir. Can I see your computer driving licence?"

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

'Did you try rebooting?'

'How is the networking going?'

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'