Smart Techie Gifts

I'm a Smart-Cow!

Ascent of Machine.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

"Invest in technology."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Gadget geek.

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

All the apps hidden within a phone

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

I demand to be recompensed for the 28.47 minutes of my time your café was wasted. What? There are 1500 square feet of seating space in this café. That is room enough for 125 people. 90 percent of Americans own a personal electronic device of some sort. The quotient of that ratio of people to electronic devices is 112.5. Dividing by two produces a quotient of 56.25. So you see, it's obvious why you owe me compensation for my wasted time. I have no idea what you're saying. You only have 55 electri

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

I've always been slower than computers...

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

Jim unwittingly wanders into a rough section of the Computer Science department.

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

Ready for a run!

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

The Uses of a Stethoscope

Statue of liberty selfie

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, creeps in this pretty pace from day to day. To the last syllable of recorded time. . ."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Latest Aye Phone

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"There was a time when I used to instil absolute terror into everybody..."

The secret thoughts of smart machines.