It Instructor Gifts

'I can't come over to play video games after school. I'm teaching an adult education class on using the internet to download and upload music and photos.'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

'Our computer teacher must be real old. She remembers using Windows 3.1.'

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

"Hi, it's me - I'm on the internet!"

"I am the teacher. Normally, the students would be kids, and the instructor would be an adult. But this is a technology course."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

Kirsten Johnson

'Leadership training.'

"Hey! Get back here!"

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'Professor Higgenbottom will have the number π and I'll have the number √-i.'

"Mrs. Beetle, Marty's screen is frozen, again."

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

"This is a teaching hospital."

'Mom, this is my new best friend -- I built him in computer class.'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

Creative Writing 101. When it comes to writing lean, simple prose, there's the wrong way, the right way and the Hemingway.

School Supply Room. Look at this -- a calculator, a protractor and a compass! You've discovered the missing weapons of math instruction!

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!