It Teacher Gifts

'It could be that it's not plugged in, but that would be too easy.'

The c@ s@ on the m@

'Sorry I didn't do better in computer science. My teacher wanted to send you my report card over the Internet, but I told her you think computers are a fad.'

"Will that keep out the bugs, Miss?"

'Quick get the teacher! I took an online ad survey and somehow I uploaded our student teacher!'

'Settle a bet, Mrs. Templeton. Are you hardware or software?'

'I feel foolish teaching computer literacy to students whose use of it is at least five years ahead.'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

Close all your windows please.

A little gentler, Dwayne!

'Whoever is making the white noise, please stop.'

"Ms. Lemming, the class has match-mated you on the internet for 17 dates next week."

"Mrs. Beetle, Marty's screen is frozen, again."

"Today, you're going to spend less time breaking into the school back office website, redirecting air traffic, sending encrypted messages overseas...and more time working on the lesson."

Internet

"Type, 'I will not interrupt the teacher' 100 times on your computer!"

"Mrs. Beetle, Marty's screen is frozen, again."

"Dot com and Dot org are cooler and more fun than dot edu!"

A Puppet Named Juan

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"My email is down... talk to me."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'