Computer Instructor Gifts

"New tricks CD Rom"

'This word processing program is very user friendly. All the letter O's contain a happy face.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

Kirsten Johnson

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'Professor Higgenbottom will have the number π and I'll have the number √-i.'

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"This is a teaching hospital."

'Mom, this is my new best friend -- I built him in computer class.'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

Drawing graphs on a computer.

"And when the little hand gets to the nine, it means... ah, just check your cell phones."

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

'It could be that it's not plugged in, but that would be too easy.'