Computer Instructor Gifts

"New tricks CD Rom"

No! I would not like to download a typing tutorial!

'This word processing program is very user friendly. All the letter O's contain a happy face.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

Kirsten Johnson

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Leadership training.'

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'Professor Higgenbottom will have the number π and I'll have the number √-i.'

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

"Mrs. Beetle, Marty's screen is frozen, again."

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"This is a teaching hospital."

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

'Mom, this is my new best friend -- I built him in computer class.'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!

School Supply Room. Look at this -- a calculator, a protractor and a compass! You've discovered the missing weapons of math instruction!

Drawing graphs on a computer.

"And when the little hand gets to the nine, it means... ah, just check your cell phones."

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."