Instructors Gifts

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Campaign for Plain English

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

Kirsten Johnson

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'Professor Higgenbottom will have the number π and I'll have the number √-i.'

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

"This is a teaching hospital."

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

"And when the little hand gets to the nine, it means... ah, just check your cell phones."

'Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs!'