University Instructor Gifts

ACADEMIC IDOL............'The yodeling effect of the vowel repetitions was novel and infectious. And yet, I feel that it was Professor Elliot's choice of subject matter that let him down here.'

Econ 101. Can you explain the phrase "Talk is cheap"? It's because the supply always exceeds the demand.

'I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Hmph. College kids.'

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Make a lot of money."

U of Debt

University Soapflakes

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Kardiff.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

All Hail the Matriarchy

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Kirsten Johnson

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

'Leadership training.'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

Bearded Leftie.

Subatomic particles

What Does God Know?

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

The Giamatti era

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."