Student Instructor Gifts

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

Kirsten Johnson

"He's an abstract artist."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Leadership training.'

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"I can't WAIT to see it."

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

'Professor Higgenbottom will have the number π and I'll have the number √-i.'

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"The narrative seems contrived."

"This is a teaching hospital."

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

People with tilted heads looking at crooked art gallery painting

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"And when the little hand gets to the nine, it means... ah, just check your cell phones."

School Supply Room. Look at this -- a calculator, a protractor and a compass! You've discovered the missing weapons of math instruction!

Creative Writing 101. When it comes to writing lean, simple prose, there's the wrong way, the right way and the Hemingway.

Econ 101. Can you explain the phrase "Talk is cheap"? It's because the supply always exceeds the demand.

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

Louise Glück

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."