Student Instructor T-Shirts

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"He's an abstract artist."

Kirsten Johnson

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"I can't WAIT to see it."

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'Professor Higgenbottom will have the number π and I'll have the number √-i.'

"The narrative seems contrived."

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

"This is a teaching hospital."

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

People with tilted heads looking at crooked art gallery painting

'Hold still please. I'm joining the dots.'

"And when the little hand gets to the nine, it means... ah, just check your cell phones."

Louise Glück

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."