Medical Instructor Gifts

'...And because there are four basic steps to an appendectomy, we refer to it as a 'par four.''

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

'What's holding him up?'

Kirsten Johnson

'Leadership training.'

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"Let's take it again from the top...but this time with more fillings."

'Professor Higgenbottom will have the number π and I'll have the number √-i.'

Resusci Annie takes a well-earned vacation.

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

"This is a teaching hospital."

Med School Mascots.

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

Victorious Vaccination Campaign

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

Medical students learning how to perform a prostate examination.

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

"First of all, where and what is a prostrate?"

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."