Health Instructor Gifts

'Touch my toes? I can't even see my toes!'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

Muscles

Be Healthy

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Bad for you but to die for

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"We're exclusively delts."

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Exercise Class

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Distance to avoid contagion

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'