Health Coach Gifts

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'For the elevated blood pressure, exercise and cut down on salt. For the rash, exercise and cut down on salt. For the headaches, exercise and cut down on salt.'

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

'Too much intake - not enough burnout.'

Obesity problem is becoming a global problem

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

Good Cholesterol / Bad Cholesterol.

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

'I'm putting you on my own personal diet.'

'Welcome James. Are you ready to kick some butt?'

"When I say I'm rich I don't just mean in Omega 3 oils."

Bad for you but to die for

Healthy Chocolate Co.

"And for all you people with food allergies, this next song's lyrics contain no gluten or peanuts."

Nutritionist - Out to a Low Carb Lunch.

"It's just that you might find food a lot cheaper!"

'Popcorn, carrot cake, and potato chips do not count as three servings of vegetables.'

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

'I'd like something with a high amount of vegetable protein, a bit of glucose or dextroe for energy, and some fiber.' 'One peanut butter and jelly on toast.'

"How many calories do you think we burn by pressing these buttons each day?"

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Do you realize what the sodium content of this water is?"

The Poisoned Apple (Junk Food)

The Yearly News

'The day-old doughnuts may be a false economy.'

Break room - Smoke free, carb free.

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"All the evidence is clear that weight loss is about eating less and exercising more...so we're developing a tablet to help with that!"

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Snowman with big carrot nose to one with small carrot nose: 'I'd increase your beta carotene.'